Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Good Riddance

2010 was a shitty year. There's no denying it. No matter how positively I try to look back at it, no matter how much I try to fake the stereotypical bittersweetness, I cannot hide it: it was one hell of a shitty year.

It started off on an interesting enough note, promising to be a year full of surprises. Oh, little did I know.

I went through the mother of all personal lows. Went through heartbreak and sunk into a hole that I didn't know how to crawl out of. I'd never been in one before, see.

I'm not out quite yet, but I will be.

It was a year of personal frustrations, of wanting to stretch my wings and not being able to, of not having the resources to, of not having the choice to. Of being forced by my own conscience to rein myself in.

It was a shitty professional year as well, filled with exasperation, and self-doubt, and realizations of inadequacies.

I'm not out quite yet, but I will be.

I'm so glad the year is over. I'm so glad there's an entirely new year ahead of me to do it right this time, to remember what's important and what's not, to remember who I am and who I'm not. Of what I want to devote my time to and what I want to brush aside without a second thought.

Hello, world. I'm here now, I'm back. Thank you for giving me this chance. :)